EntreConnections

The Strength of Your Relationships Often Mirrors the Success of Your Business. 

I was at mile 110 of a grueling 200 mile bike race, hitting a wall, when nausea and exhaustion overtook me. How could I possibly pedal 90 more miles in this condition? I wanted to quit.  

Riding alongside me was my friend Brett. As my resolve and determination to finish melted away, he moved in front to block the wind resistance so I could draft behind him and conserve energy. For 43 painful miles I struggled to keep pace while Brett pulled me along, and there were still 47 miles left to go. My wife, who had already finished her race as part of the relay team, then swooped in to aid both Brett and me for the last leg, until I was able to find the energy to carry myself the remaining.  

Without Brett or Heather’s aid, sacrificing themselves so I could rest and refuel, I never would have completed that race. It revealed an insight I now consider central to success in anything we endeavor - it’s the depth of your connections which determine the height of your accomplishments.    

Matt (left), Aaron, Brett (right)

Positive Relationships Anchor Us Through Adversity 

The demands of building a business are immense, requiring tremendous mental and physical energy. When juggling all those responsibilities, it’s easy to disconnect from relationships and isolate yourself for the sake of efficiency or convenience.   

But this comes at great cost. At our core, humans are social creatures with an innate longing for social bonds. We know that lacking meaningful connections in life is a greater health risk than obesity and smoking (Murthy, 2023). Our wellness truly depends on an interdependent community. 

Why does this sense of belonging matter so much? Because relationships act as emotional anchors in times of distress or hardship. They help alleviate the anxiety, stress, depression and burnout commonly felt during intense entrepreneurial efforts.   

Like no other resource, relationships multiply our vitality, creativity, stamina, and problem-solving abilities. They make the impossible possible. Surround yourself with life-giving connections to thrive in business and life.  

Cultivating a Transformational Community  

I’ve observed that the world's most influential leaders, from Gandhi to Martin Luther King Jr. to Steve Jobs, all relied on a close-knit community of support to achieve global impact. Likewise, the entrepreneurs I know living richly fulfilling lives are those who invest deeply in their relationships. 

When examining my highest highs and lowest lows over the past 20 years of building companies, I can trace them directly back to the quality of people walking alongside me at each phase. One breakthrough changed everything:  

I’ve brushed shoulders with hundreds of entrepreneurs, some have become close trusted friends of mine. Through my own personal experience and interactions with these entrepreneurs I’ve discovered 3 vital pillars for constructing a flourishing community of deep connections. In the book I’ve set these pillars up in a “crawl, walk, run” order of operations so to speak. As I wrote in the book, “No matter where you find yourself in relation to these laws, you can always begin with a “crawl.” The goal is to make progress in each area because that’s where EntreThriving will truly happen.” 

1. Crawl: Congruence  

Congruence is when our outer life mirrors our inner truth. There’s coherence between what we profess to stand for and how we actually live, speak and behave behind closed doors when no one is watching.  

Lacking congruence can breed distrust over time. We might impress people for a season wearing a mask, but eventually the façade crumbles. Compare this to the magnetic appeal of someone whose walk aligns with their talk - who they appear to be, is aligned with who they authentically are. People are drawn to integrity. 

Nurture greater self-awareness of blind spots where you might be contradicting deeply held values. With that newfound self-awareness, correct your actions to align with your chosen principles and values. Congruence fosters credibility and rich partnerships.   

2. Walk: Presence 

Presence means showing up fully attentive and engaged in each conversation or interaction, devoid of distraction or preoccupation. Being mentally preoccupied yet physically present with people can lead to superficial connections and emotional withdrawal.  

Instead, apply complete presence as you relate to important people in your community - employee, spouse, child or best friend. Provide empathetic listening without interruption or judgement as they share vulnerable thoughts and feelings. By offering the gift of presence, you hold space for trust and intimacy essential to any thriving relationship.   

3. Run: High Quality Connections  

Even routine conversations contain unseen potential for what Positive Psychology calls High Quality Connections (HQC’s) (Stephens et al., 2011). These are life-giving exchanges that leave both parties feeling energized and affirmed.  

A few years ago I shared an HQC with my Uber driver while traveling for business. Despite our vastly different backgrounds, inspired discussion regarding purpose and meaning flowed freely. The energy became palpable. As I later exited his car, he hugged me while expressing confidence I would accomplish great things in life!   

Imagine infusing this degree of care, understanding and encouragement into every business and personal interaction. The compound effect over time could significantly multiply success and fulfillment. 

Next Steps 

Want to construct a transformational community that takes your entrepreneurial impact to the next level? Here are key steps: 

• Commit to personal congruence, presence and daily HQC’s 

• Limit time with draining people so you can invest in life-giving relationships   

• Visit our website at EntreThrive.com, where you can order my upcoming book, “EntreThrive,” where I go into much greater detail in how to foster EntreConnections. We also have more on the 8 laws on the website.  

Also, make sure to download our free EntreClarity Guide here, a powerful tool designed to help you align your purpose with your relationships, habits, faith, and creativity.  Remember, no one achieves sustainable success alone. Your network must be even stronger than your work ethic. By sowing seeds of service, empathy and compassion into your relationships now, you’ll reap an invaluable harvest of loyalty and support for years to come. 

Relationships are the soil from which all human progress grows – so root yourself in fertile soil by staying congruent, present, and focused on high-quality connections. 

Co-authored by Brinley Marcum

References:

John Paul Stephens, Emily Heaphy, and Jane E. Dutton, “High Quality Connections,” in The Oxford Handbook of Positive Organizational Scholarship, eds. Kim S. Cameron and Gretchen M. Spreitzer, Oxford Library of Psychology (2011; online edition, Oxford Academic, 21 Nov. 2012), accessed January 8, 2024, https://doi.org/10.1093/oxfordhb/9780199734610.002.0004.   

Murthy, Vivek H. "Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation." Hhs.gov. Last modified 2023. Accessed January 9, 2024. https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/surgeon-general-social-connection-advisory.pdf.

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